Short answer: the Quran says wives have rights over their husbands similar to the rights husbands have over them, "according to what is reasonable" (2:228). A wife's rights include her mahr, full maintenance (food, clothing and a home of her own), kind treatment, intimacy, fairness if there is more than one wife, and freedom from harm. A husband's rights include leading the household, being obeyed in what is reasonable and not sinful, intimacy, and his wife guarding his home, his property and his honour. Both share the rights of inheritance, of kindness, and of a home built on love and mercy.
وَمِنْ ءَايَٰتِهِۦٓ أَنْ خَلَقَ لَكُم مِّنْ أَنفُسِكُمْ أَزْوَٰجًۭا لِّتَسْكُنُوٓا۟ إِلَيْهَا وَجَعَلَ بَيْنَكُم مَّوَدَّةًۭ وَرَحْمَةً ۚ إِنَّ فِى ذَٰلِكَ لَءَايَٰتٍۢ لِّقَوْمٍۢ يَتَفَكَّرُونَ ﴿٢١﴾
Wa min Aayaatiheee an khalaqa lakum min anfusikum azwaajal litaskunooo ilaihaa wa ja'ala bainakum mawad datanw wa rahmah; inna fee zaalika la Aayaatil liqawminy yatafakkaroon
And of His signs is that He created for you from yourselves mates that you may find tranquillity in them; and He placed between you affection and mercy. Indeed in that are signs for a people who give thought.
Quran 30:21 · Sahih International · Read Surah Ar-Rum
The rights of the wife
1. Her mahr
The mahr is a gift the husband must give his wife at marriage. It is hers alone, not her father's, and he cannot take it back unless she freely gives some of it up.
وَءَاتُوا۟ ٱلنِّسَآءَ صَدُقَٰتِهِنَّ نِحْلَةًۭ ۚ فَإِن طِبْنَ لَكُمْ عَن شَىْءٍۢ مِّنْهُ نَفْسًۭا فَكُلُوهُ هَنِيٓـًۭٔا مَّرِيٓـًۭٔا ﴿٤﴾
Wa aatun nisaaa'a sadu qaatihinna nihlah; fa in tibna lakum 'an shai'im minhu nafsan fakuloohu hanee'am mareee'aa
And give the women [upon marriage] their [bridal] gifts graciously. But if they give up willingly to you anything of it, then take it in satisfaction and ease.
Quran 4:4 · Sahih International · Read Surah An-Nisa
In the Hanafi school the minimum mahr is ten dirhams of silver, and it may be paid at once or deferred by agreement. Deferred mahr is a real debt that becomes due at divorce or death. You can work out the minimum and the mahr fatimi in today's money with the mahr calculator.
2. Maintenance (nafaqah)
A husband must provide for his wife's food, clothing and housing, even if she is wealthy herself. This is not charity: it is her right.
لِيُنفِقْ ذُو سَعَةٍۢ مِّن سَعَتِهِۦ ۖ وَمَن قُدِرَ عَلَيْهِ رِزْقُهُۥ فَلْيُنفِقْ مِمَّآ ءَاتَىٰهُ ٱللَّهُ ۚ لَا يُكَلِّفُ ٱللَّهُ نَفْسًا إِلَّا مَآ ءَاتَىٰهَا ۚ سَيَجْعَلُ ٱللَّهُ بَعْدَ عُسْرٍۢ يُسْرًۭا ﴿٧﴾
Liyuntiq zoo sa'atim min sa'atihee wa man qudira 'alaihi riquhoo falyunfiq mimmaaa aataahul laah; laa yukalliful laahu nafsan illaa maaa aataahaa; sa yaj'alul laahu ba'da'usriny yusraa
Let a man of wealth spend from his wealth, and he whose provision is restricted - let him spend from what Allah has given him. Allah does not charge a soul except [according to] what He has given it. Allah will bring about, after hardship, ease.
Quran 65:7 · Sahih International · Read Surah At-Talaq
When Hind bint Utbah complained that her husband Abu Sufyan did not give her enough for herself and her child, the Prophet ﷺ told her: "Take what is enough for you and your child, according to what is reasonable" (Sahih al-Bukhari 5364).
Maintenance covers food, clothing and housing at a reasonable level. The fatwa position of the school considers the circumstances of both spouses: a wealthy husband married to a wealthy wife provides at that level. Housing means a private place of her own: at least a room with a lock, with use of a kitchen and toilet, where she does not have to share her living space with his relatives, such as his parents or his other wife. She may choose to live with his family, but cannot be forced to.
Other madhhabs
- Shafi'i
- Maintenance is measured by the husband's means alone, with set amounts of food for a rich, middling and poor husband. She also has a right to her own dwelling.
- Maliki
- Measured by custom and the circumstances of both spouses. A separate dwelling is her right, especially if living with his family harms her.
- Hanbali
- Measured by the circumstances of both spouses, as in the Hanafi fatwa position, with her own dwelling.
3. Kindness and good company
يَٰٓأَيُّهَا ٱلَّذِينَ ءَامَنُوا۟ لَا يَحِلُّ لَكُمْ أَن تَرِثُوا۟ ٱلنِّسَآءَ كَرْهًۭا ۖ وَلَا تَعْضُلُوهُنَّ لِتَذْهَبُوا۟ بِبَعْضِ مَآ ءَاتَيْتُمُوهُنَّ إِلَّآ أَن يَأْتِينَ بِفَٰحِشَةٍۢ مُّبَيِّنَةٍۢ ۚ وَعَاشِرُوهُنَّ بِٱلْمَعْرُوفِ ۚ فَإِن كَرِهْتُمُوهُنَّ فَعَسَىٰٓ أَن تَكْرَهُوا۟ شَيْـًۭٔا وَيَجْعَلَ ٱللَّهُ فِيهِ خَيْرًۭا كَثِيرًۭا ﴿١٩﴾
Yaaa aiyuhal lazeena aamanoo laa yahillu lakum an tarisun nisaaa'a karhan wa laa ta'duloohunna litazhaboo biba'di maaa aataitumoohunna illaaa ai yaateena bifaahishatim bubaiyinah; wa 'aashiroo hunna bilma'roof; fa in karihtumoohunna fa'asaaa an takrahoo shai'anw wa yaj'alal laahu feehi khairan kaseeraa
O you who have believed, it is not lawful for you to inherit women by compulsion. And do not make difficulties for them in order to take [back] part of what you gave them unless they commit a clear immorality. And live with them in kindness. For if you dislike them - perhaps you dislike a thing and Allah makes therein much good.
Quran 4:19 · Sahih International · Read Surah An-Nisa
خَيْرُكُمْ خَيْرُكُمْ لِأَهْلِهِ، وَأَنَا خَيْرُكُمْ لِأَهْلِي
The best of you are those who are best to their families, and I am the best of you to my family.
Jami' at-Tirmidhi 3895 · narrated by Aishah · graded hasan sahih by at-Tirmidhi
The Prophet ﷺ also said: "A believing man should not hate a believing woman. If he dislikes one of her traits, he will be pleased with another" (Sahih Muslim 1469). In his farewell sermon he told the men: "Fear Allah concerning women" (Sahih Muslim 1218). He helped at home himself: when Aishah was asked what he did in the house, she said he served his family, and when the prayer came he went out to pray (Sahih al-Bukhari 676).
4. Intimacy and time together
Intimacy is a right of both spouses, not only of the husband. A husband who stays away from his wife, or ignores her for long periods, fails her. The Quran sets a limit of four months for a husband who swears to keep away from his wife (2:226), and Hanafi scholars say he is bound before Allah to keep her chaste and content. The Prophet ﷺ told a Companion who fasted all day and prayed all night: "Your wife has a right over you" (Sahih al-Bukhari 1975).
5. Fairness if there is more than one wife
A man with more than one wife must treat them equally in nights, housing and maintenance (4:3). He is not held to account for love in his heart, which no one controls (4:129), but he is held to account for what he does.
6. Her own wealth
Her mahr, her earnings, her inheritance and her savings belong to her. Her husband has no right to them, and she has no duty to spend them on the household (4:32). If she chooses to help, it is a kindness on her part.
7. Freedom from harm, and a way out
"There should be no harm and no returning of harm" (Sunan Ibn Majah 2340, graded hasan). A wife who is mistreated, or who simply cannot live with her husband, can ask for a separation through khul', returning the mahr. The wife of Thabit ibn Qays did this in the Prophet's ﷺ time (Sahih al-Bukhari 5273).
The classical Hanafi grounds for a judge to dissolve a marriage without the husband's consent were narrow, such as impotence. Later Hanafi scholars in South Asia, led by Mawlana Ashraf Ali Thanawi in al-Hilat al-Najizah, adopted the Maliki position for cases of a missing husband, a husband who refuses maintenance, and cruelty, so that wives are not left trapped. This is the basis of the 1939 Dissolution of Muslim Marriages Act still used in Pakistan and Bangladesh.
Other madhhabs
- Maliki
- The widest grounds: a judge may separate the couple for harm (darar), failure to provide, long absence, or illness. Arbitrators from both families decide first (4:35).
- Shafi'i
- A judge may separate the couple when the husband cannot provide maintenance, and in some cases of absence.
- Hanbali
- Similar to the Shafi'i school, with separation for failure to provide and for serious harm.
8. Learning her religion
"O you who have believed, protect yourselves and your families from a Fire" (66:6). A husband should make sure his wife can learn her religion, by teaching her or by letting her learn from others.
The rights of the husband
1. Leading the family (qiwamah)
The Quran gives the husband the role of qawwam, protector and maintainer, linked to his duty to spend on the family (4:34). It is a responsibility before Allah, not a licence to rule harshly. The Prophet ﷺ said: "Each of you is a shepherd and each of you will be asked about his flock. A man is a shepherd over his family" (Sahih al-Bukhari 893).
2. Obedience in what is reasonable
A wife should follow her husband's reasonable wishes in their married life. That obedience has two limits. First, no one is obeyed in disobedience to Allah: "Obedience is only in what is right" (Sahih al-Bukhari 7257; Sahih Muslim 1840). Second, it covers matters of the marriage and home, not her private wealth or her religious duties.
3. Intimacy
The Prophet ﷺ warned a wife against refusing her husband without a valid reason (Sahih al-Bukhari 5193; Sahih Muslim 1436). Illness, pain, exhaustion and the days of her period are valid reasons, and the same right runs the other way.
4. Guarding his home and honour
A wife should not let into the home people her husband dislikes, and should look after his property in his absence (Sahih Muslim 1218). She should not leave the home against his wishes without a need.
A wife does not leave the home against her husband's wishes except for a need, such as her own lawful work agreed at marriage, a medical need or learning what she must about her religion if he cannot teach her. The Hanafi manuals still let her visit her parents, for example once a week, and her other close mahram relatives about once a year, even if he objects, and he cannot stop her parents from visiting her.
Other madhhabs
- Shafi'i
- She needs his permission to go out, and he should not refuse visits to her parents without a reason. Some Shafi'is said he may stop her even from visiting a sick parent, but it is disliked.
- Maliki
- He may not stop her from visiting her parents in a reasonable way, and may not stop them from visiting her.
- Hanbali
- She needs his permission to go out, and it is recommended that he allow visits to her family.
What about housework?
Before Allah, a wife is expected to do the ordinary work of the home, as Fatimah did in her house while Ali worked outside it. But a court cannot force her to. If she refuses, the husband must provide food that is ready to eat, or pay for help.
Other madhhabs
- Shafi'i
- Housework is not an obligation on the wife; the husband provides for it.
- Maliki
- It depends on custom and her status: in most families she does the ordinary housework, but a woman of high standing need not.
- Hanbali
- Most Hanbalis said it is not obligatory on her, while some, such as Ibn Taymiyyah, held that she should serve according to custom.
Rights they share
| Shared right | What it means |
|---|---|
| Kind treatment | Living together "in kindness" (4:19), with patience for each other's faults. |
| Intimacy | Each has a right to the other, and each should be considerate of the other. |
| Privacy | Not telling others about private matters between them (Sahih Muslim 1437). |
| Inheritance | Each inherits from the other by fixed shares. See the inheritance calculator. |
| The children's lineage | Children born in the marriage belong to both, with rights to care, upbringing and support. |
When things go wrong
The Quran does not leave a troubled marriage to the stronger partner. It describes steps for serious breakdown on the wife's side (4:34), and it is important to read them correctly. The steps are advice, then separate beds, then, as a last measure, a light tap. Scholars of all four schools restricted that last step so heavily that it does not permit violence of any kind: it may not hurt, mark or touch the face, and many scholars, Imam al-Shafi'i among them, said leaving it altogether is better. The Prophet ﷺ himself never struck a woman or a servant (Sahih Muslim 2328). Domestic violence is haram, and in the US, the UK and the UAE it is also a crime. If you are being harmed, contact your local emergency services or a domestic violence helpline, then a scholar.
When the couple cannot settle it themselves, the next step is family arbitration:
وَإِنْ خِفْتُمْ شِقَاقَ بَيْنِهِمَا فَٱبْعَثُوا۟ حَكَمًۭا مِّنْ أَهْلِهِۦ وَحَكَمًۭا مِّنْ أَهْلِهَآ إِن يُرِيدَآ إِصْلَٰحًۭا يُوَفِّقِ ٱللَّهُ بَيْنَهُمَآ ۗ إِنَّ ٱللَّهَ كَانَ عَلِيمًا خَبِيرًۭا ﴿٣٥﴾
Wa in khiftum shiqaaqa baini himaa fab'asoo haka mam min ahlihee wa hakamam min ahlihaa; iny-yureedaaa islaah ai-yuwaffiqil laahu bainahumaa; innal laaha kaana 'Aleeman Khabeeraa
And if you fear dissension between the two, send an arbitrator from his people and an arbitrator from her people. If they both desire reconciliation, Allah will cause it between them. Indeed, Allah is ever Knowing and Acquainted [with all things].
Quran 4:35 · Sahih International · Read Surah An-Nisa
Before a marriage starts, both sides can make many of these rights clear in the nikah contract. See our nikah guide and the Quran verses about marriage.
FAQ
Is a wife obliged to cook and clean in Islam?
In the Hanafi school she is expected before Allah to do the ordinary work of the home, but cannot be compelled by a court; if she refuses, the husband provides ready food or help. The Shafi'i and most Hanbali scholars say it is not obligatory on her, and the Maliki school goes by custom.
Does a wife have to live with her husband's parents?
No. In the Hanafi school she has the right to a private dwelling of her own, at least a lockable room with use of a kitchen and toilet. She may choose to live with his family, but cannot be forced to.
Can a husband stop his wife from seeing her parents?
The Hanafi manuals let her visit her parents, for example once a week, even if he objects, and he cannot stop them from visiting her. The Maliki school says much the same; the Shafi'i and Hanbali schools require his permission but discourage refusing it.
Does a wife have to obey her husband in everything?
No. She follows his reasonable wishes in their married life, but there is no obedience in anything sinful, and his authority does not reach her own wealth or her religious duties.
Does a wife have to spend her own money on the house?
No. Her mahr, earnings and inheritance are hers. Providing for the home is the husband's duty, even if she is richer than him.
What can a wife do if her husband does not provide for her?
She may take what is reasonably enough for her needs from his wealth, as the Prophet ﷺ told Hind bint Utbah, and she can go to a judge or a scholarly council. Later Hanafi scholars, following the Maliki school, allow a judge to dissolve the marriage if he refuses to provide.
The rulings on this page are pending review by the scholars on our team.
Sources
- Quran 2:226, 2:228, 4:3, 4:4, 4:19, 4:32, 4:34, 4:35, 4:129, 30:21, 65:7 and 66:6, translation by Sahih International.
- Sahih al-Bukhari 5364 (Hind bint Utbah); 676 (the Prophet ﷺ at home); 893 (each of you is a shepherd); 1975 (your wife has a right over you); 5193; 5273 (the khul' of Thabit ibn Qays' wife); 7257.
- Sahih Muslim 1218 (the farewell sermon); 1436; 1437; 1469; 1840; 2328.
- Jami' at-Tirmidhi 3895, graded hasan sahih by at-Tirmidhi.
- Sunan Ibn Majah 2340, graded hasan by an-Nawawi and others.
- Hanafi positions: al-Marghinani, al-Hidayah, Kitab an-Nikah and Bab an-Nafaqah; Ibn Abidin, Radd al-Muhtar, Bab an-Nafaqah; Ashraf Ali Thanawi, al-Hilat al-Najizah. The other schools are summarised from their standard manuals.
Quran: Arabic from the Tanzil Uthmani text, English translation by Sahih International. Hadith gradings are those of the hadith scholars named; where a hadith number is not given, the collection and narrator are cited instead.