Children, questions and answers.
Naming, aqiqah, circumcision, raising children and adoption. 26 answers, Hanafi first, with the Quran and hadith behind each one.
- Is it sunnah to give the adhan in a newborn baby's ear?Yes. In the Hanafi school it is mustahabb (recommended) to say the adhan softly in the newborn's right ear soon after birth, and the iqamah in the left ear. The Shafi'i and Hanbali schools also recommend it.
- What is tahnik and is it sunnah?Tahnik is softening a date and rubbing a little of it on a newborn's palate. It is sunnah: the Prophet ﷺ did it for babies brought to him. It is mustahabb (recommended) in the Hanafi school, and the four schools agree that it is recommended.
- What are the best names in Islam, and which names should you avoid?The Prophet ﷺ said the names most loved by Allah are Abdullah and Abdur Rahman, and names of prophets and names with good meanings are also recommended. In the Hanafi school names that belong to Allah alone, or that make a person the servant of anyone but Allah, are not allowed. A name does not have to be Arabic.
- Is it wrong to call someone named Abdur Rahman just "Rahman"?Yes, when the short form is a name that belongs to Allah alone. Ar-Rahman, al-Khaliq, ar-Razzaq and al-Quddus describe only Allah, so calling a person "Rahman" or "Razzaq" is not allowed in the Hanafi school. Names Allah also uses for people, such as Karim, Aziz, Rahim or Hakim, may be used on their own.
- Do Muslims have to change their name?No, not as a rule. A Muslim, including a new convert, may keep a name with a good or neutral meaning. Changing is recommended when a name has a bad meaning and required when it carries shirk, such as "servant of" anyone but Allah. Some people change simply because they want an Islamic name.
- Is aqiqah compulsory in Islam?No. In the Hanafi school aqiqah is mustahabb (recommended), an act of thanks for a new child, and you are not sinful if you leave it. The Shafi'i and Hanbali schools call it a stressed sunnah (sunnah mu'akkadah), and the Maliki school calls it a sunnah.
- When should aqiqah be done?On the seventh day after birth, when the baby is also named and its head is shaved. If that is not possible, scholars recommend the 14th or the 21st day, and after that any day. In the Hanafi school a late aqiqah is still valid and rewarded.
- How many goats are needed for aqiqah for a boy and a girl?The sunnah is two goats or sheep for a boy and one for a girl. In the Hanafi school one animal for a boy is also enough, and a seventh share of a cow or camel can stand in for one goat. The animal must meet the same age and health conditions as qurbani.
- Can aqiqah be done later or as an adult if it was missed?Yes. In the Hanafi school an aqiqah that was missed in childhood can be done at any later time, by the parents or by the person himself as an adult. The seventh day is best, but the sunnah does not expire, and there is no sin for having missed it.
- Do you have to shave a newborn's head and give silver in charity?It is sunnah, not compulsory. In the Hanafi school it is mustahabb to shave the baby's head on the seventh day and give the weight of the hair in silver, or its value, to the poor. Hanafi scholars apply this to girls as well as boys.
- Is circumcision mandatory in Islam?For boys, circumcision is a stressed sunnah (sunnah mu'akkadah) in the Hanafi school and one of the signs of Islam, so it should not be left without a real excuse. The Shafi'i and Hanbali schools hold it is wajib (obligatory). There is no fixed age; most families do it in infancy.
- Is female circumcision allowed in Islam?It is not a religious duty. The Hanafi school counts it neither wajib nor sunnah, and classical texts call it at most a makrumah (an honourable custom). Any cutting that harms a girl, which is what FGM is, is haram because Islam forbids causing harm, and it is a crime in the US, the UK and many other countries.
- How long should a mother breastfeed in Islam?Up to two full years. The Quran names two complete years as the full term, and parents may wean earlier by mutual agreement. In the Hanafi school the fatwa is that the nursing period is two lunar years, and breastfeeding should not go beyond it without need.
- Does breastfeeding someone else's baby make them mahram?Yes. A woman who nurses a baby within its first two years becomes its milk mother, her husband its milk father and her children its milk siblings, and marriage between them is forbidden for life. In the Hanafi school even one feed counts; the Shafi'i and Hanbali schools require five separate feeds.
- Can an adopted child take your last name in Islam?No. You may raise and love a child as your own, which Islam calls kafalah (sponsorship) and rewards greatly, but the child keeps the birth father's name, because the Quran says "call them by the names of their fathers". If the father is unknown, use a neutral Muslim name instead of your surname.
- Is an adopted child a mahram to the adoptive parents?Not by adoption alone. As an adopted child nears puberty, the normal hijab and privacy rules apply between the child and adoptive family members of the opposite sex. In the Hanafi school the child becomes mahram to a woman who nurses it, or to the relatives of the woman who nurses it, before age two.
- At what age should children start praying?Tell children to pray from age seven, and be firmer from age ten, as the Prophet ﷺ instructed. In the Hanafi school the guardian is required to order prayer at seven. Prayer itself becomes fard on the child only at puberty.
- Is it allowed to hit your child in Islam?Harming a child is haram: hitting that hurts, injures, leaves marks, targets the face or comes from anger. The Hanafi school allows only a light, harmless tap for a child of ten or older who refuses prayer, as a last resort, and where the law forbids smacking you must follow it. The sunnah is gentleness: the Prophet ﷺ never struck a woman or a servant.
- At what age should children start fasting in Ramadan?Fasting becomes fard at puberty. Before that, the Hanafi school says parents should have a child fast when able, from about seven, and be firmer around ten, as with prayer. Start with half days or a few fasts and build up.
- At what age is a child accountable in Islam?At puberty (bulugh). In the Hanafi school a boy is baligh when he has a wet dream or ejaculates, and a girl when she has her first period, a wet dream or becomes pregnant. With no sign, both are baligh at 15 lunar years, about 14 years and 7 months.
- Do children who die go to Jannah?Yes. Children of Muslims who die before puberty are in Jannah by the agreement of the scholars, and they can be a cause of their parents entering it. For children of non-Muslims scholars differ, and many leading scholars hold they are in Jannah too.
- Is a baby shower or gender reveal party haram?It depends on what it involves. Many Hanafi scholars advise against baby showers and gender reveal parties as customs taken from non-Muslim culture that often bring waste and mixing. Others allow a simple gathering with dua and gifts. Knowing the baby's sex is not wrong.
- Is it allowed to pierce a baby girl's ears in Islam?Yes. In the Hanafi school piercing a girl's ears for earrings is permissible, at any age, since women wore earrings in the Prophet's ﷺ time and he did not object. Piercing a boy's ears is not allowed, because it imitates women's adornment. Do it hygienically and without harming the child.
- Are dolls and toys allowed for Muslim children?Toys are allowed, and play is good for children. Aishah played with dolls in the Prophet's ﷺ house, so dolls for children are permitted in principle. Many Hanafi scholars prefer simple dolls without detailed faces and advise against lifelike figures, while other scholars allow children's dolls of any kind.
- What are the rights of children in Islam?A child has the right to a good name, to be provided for, to be taught the faith and good manners, to be treated with mercy, and to be treated fairly beside brothers and sisters. In the Hanafi school the father must support his children until a son can earn and a daughter marries.
- At what age should a child start learning the Quran?There is no fixed age. Many families start the Arabic letters and short surahs around age four or five, when the child can sit and repeat. In the Hanafi school, parents must make sure a child learns at least al-Fatihah and enough Quran to pray, and teaching more brings great reward.