Short answer
Men wash men and women wash women. A wife may wash her husband, but in the Hanafi school a husband does not wash his wife, though he may see her. The other three schools allow a husband to wash his wife. Young children can be washed by either men or women.
Washing the dead (ghusl al-mayyit) is fard kifayah. A man is washed by men and a woman by women. A widow may wash her husband while she is in his iddah. A husband may not wash or touch his dead wife's body directly, but he may look at her. Children below the age of desire may be washed by either sex.
Other madhhabs
- Shafi'i
- A husband may wash his wife and a wife her husband.
- Maliki
- Either spouse may wash the other.
- Hanbali
- Either spouse may wash the other.
Explanation
Washing the body is fard kifayah (a communal duty): if some Muslims do it, the rest are free of sin. The best people to do it are close relatives of the same sex who know the method, and then trusted people from the masjid. Many mosques in the US, UK and Gulf have trained teams who will guide or help the family.
- A man is washed by men.
- A woman is washed by women.
- A wife may wash her husband, because she is still in his iddah (waiting period) and the marriage has an effect until it ends.
- A husband, in the Hanafi school, does not wash his wife, because her death ends the marriage. He may still see her face and be with her.
- A young child may be washed by men or women.
If a woman dies where there are no women to wash her, a mahram man gives her tayammum (dry ablution) with his hands, and a non-mahram man does it with a cloth over his hands. The same applies the other way for a man among women only.
The method in brief. Cover the private area from navel to knee, wash the body an odd number of times (usually three), start with the right side and the parts of wudu, and use water with lotus leaves (sidr) or soap, and camphor in the last wash. Keep what you see private. The person washing should be gentle, because the dead are owed the same dignity as the living.
The other three schools allow a husband to wash his wife, citing the Prophet ﷺ telling Aisha he would wash her if she died first. Hanafi scholars read such reports as special or explain them differently, and hold to the rule above.
The evidence
Quran, Surah Al-Israa 17:70
۞ وَلَقَدْ كَرَّمْنَا بَنِىٓ ءَادَمَ وَحَمَلْنَٰهُمْ فِى ٱلْبَرِّ وَٱلْبَحْرِ وَرَزَقْنَٰهُم مِّنَ ٱلطَّيِّبَٰتِ وَفَضَّلْنَٰهُمْ عَلَىٰ كَثِيرٍۢ مِّمَّنْ خَلَقْنَا تَفْضِيلًۭا ﴿٧٠﴾
And We have certainly honored the children of Adam and carried them on the land and sea and provided for them of the good things and preferred them over much of what We have created, with [definite] preference.
The human body keeps its honour after death, which is why it is washed with care.
Sahih al-Bukhari 1253
Sahih... اغسلنها ثلاثا أو خمسا أو أكثر من ذلك إن رأيتن ذلك بماء وسدر ...
"Wash her three or five times, or more if you see the need, with water and lotus leaves."
Women washed the Prophet's ﷺ daughter, and the wash is done an odd number of times.
Sunan Ibn Majah 1465
Graded hasan... ما ضرك لو مت قبلي فغسلتك وكفنتك ...
"What harm would it do you if you died before me? I would wash you and shroud you."
The other schools use this to allow a husband to wash his wife.
Where the ruling is recorded
- al-Durr al-Mukhtar, Kitab al-Salah, Bab Salat al-Janazah. A husband is prevented from washing and touching his wife, not from looking at her.
- al-Hidaya, Kitab al-Salah, Bab al-Jana'iz. The method of washing and who washes whom.
- al-Mughni (Ibn Qudama), Kitab al-Jana'iz. Spouses washing each other in the Hanbali school.
This answer is pending review by the scholars on our team. Quran translation by Sahih International. Hadith Arabic from the standard editions of the six books and the Muwatta, with gradings as recorded there; the English is our own rendering. Spotted a mistake? Tell us.