Short answer
No. Honouring your parents and pleasing your wife are both great virtues, but there is no obedience to anyone in disobeying Allah, and the Hanafi school holds the beard to be wajib. Keep it, keep it neat and well groomed, and win them over with gentleness rather than argument.
A son or husband may not shave his beard at the request of a parent or wife, since shaving it, or trimming it below a fist, is makruh tahrimi. Kindness to parents and good treatment of one's wife remain obligations alongside this, so he refuses gently.
Other madhhabs
- Shafi'i
- The relied-upon Shafi'i view is that shaving the beard is makruh rather than haram, which changes how a parent's request is weighed in that school.
Explanation
The Prophet ﷺ said there is no obedience in disobeying Allah; obedience is only in what is right. The Quran says of parents who push their child towards wrong: do not obey them, but keep company with them in this world with kindness. The scholars draw the general rule from these texts: you stay kind and respectful, but you do not leave a duty to please anyone.
Parents. Many parents worry about discrimination, or simply think a beard looks untidy. Speak softly, never argue harshly, and show them a beard that is clean, combed and shaped. You may trim what goes beyond a fist and tidy stray hairs on the cheeks; see the Sunnah length of the beard. Make dua for them, and let your good character answer their fears.
Your wife. She has a right to a husband who looks after his appearance for her, just as he likes her to look good for him; Ibn Abbas is reported to have said he adorned himself for his wife for this reason. So keep the beard soft, clean and fragrant, and ask what exactly bothers her: often it is roughness or untidiness, which you can fix without shaving.
If the pressure is about a job or safety, see shaving the beard for work. If it is threatening your marriage or family ties, speak to a local scholar who can help both sides. The full ruling is in is shaving your beard haram.
The evidence
Quran, Surah Luqman 31:15
وَإِن جَٰهَدَاكَ عَلَىٰٓ أَن تُشْرِكَ بِى مَا لَيْسَ لَكَ بِهِۦ عِلْمٌۭ فَلَا تُطِعْهُمَا ۖ وَصَاحِبْهُمَا فِى ٱلدُّنْيَا مَعْرُوفًۭا ۖ وَٱتَّبِعْ سَبِيلَ مَنْ أَنَابَ إِلَىَّ ۚ ثُمَّ إِلَىَّ مَرْجِعُكُمْ فَأُنَبِّئُكُم بِمَا كُنتُمْ تَعْمَلُونَ ﴿١٥﴾
But if they endeavor to make you associate with Me that of which you have no knowledge, do not obey them but accompany them in [this] world with appropriate kindness and follow the way of those who turn back to Me [in repentance]. Then to Me will be your return, and I will inform you about what you used to do.
Parents are not obeyed in wrong, yet they are still treated with kindness.
Quran, Surah Al-Baqara 2:228
وَٱلْمُطَلَّقَٰتُ يَتَرَبَّصْنَ بِأَنفُسِهِنَّ ثَلَٰثَةَ قُرُوٓءٍۢ ۚ وَلَا يَحِلُّ لَهُنَّ أَن يَكْتُمْنَ مَا خَلَقَ ٱللَّهُ فِىٓ أَرْحَامِهِنَّ إِن كُنَّ يُؤْمِنَّ بِٱللَّهِ وَٱلْيَوْمِ ٱلْءَاخِرِ ۚ وَبُعُولَتُهُنَّ أَحَقُّ بِرَدِّهِنَّ فِى ذَٰلِكَ إِنْ أَرَادُوٓا۟ إِصْلَٰحًۭا ۚ وَلَهُنَّ مِثْلُ ٱلَّذِى عَلَيْهِنَّ بِٱلْمَعْرُوفِ ۚ وَلِلرِّجَالِ عَلَيْهِنَّ دَرَجَةٌۭ ۗ وَٱللَّهُ عَزِيزٌ حَكِيمٌ ﴿٢٢٨﴾
Divorced women remain in waiting for three periods, and it is not lawful for them to conceal what Allah has created in their wombs if they believe in Allah and the Last Day. And their husbands have more right to take them back in this [period] if they want reconciliation. And due to the wives is similar to what is expected of them, according to what is reasonable. But the men have a degree over them [in responsibility and authority]. And Allah is Exalted in Might and Wise.
Spouses owe each other similar care, including looking good for one another.
Sahih al-Bukhari 7257
Sahih... لا طاعة في معصية إنما الطاعة في المعروف ...
"There is no obedience in sin. Obedience is only in what is right."
No person, however close, is to be obeyed in something Allah has forbidden.
Sahih al-Bukhari 5892
Sahih... خالفوا المشركين وفروا اللحى وأحفوا الشوارب ...
"Be different from the idolaters: let the beard grow fully and trim the moustache short."
The command to grow the beard, which the Hanafi school treats as wajib.
Where the ruling is recorded
- al-Fatawa al-Hindiyya, Kitab al-Karahiyya, chapter on circumcision, hair and nails. On the beard and what may be trimmed.
- Radd al-Muhtar (Ibn Abidin), Kitab al-Jihad, on obeying parents. Parents are obeyed in what is permitted, not in what is forbidden.
Checked by our team. For a more accurate answer to your own situation, consult a scholar. Quran translation by Sahih International. Hadith Arabic from the standard editions of the six books and the Muwatta, with gradings as recorded there; the English is our own rendering. Spotted a mistake? Tell us.