Short answer
With kindness, respect and service, just as with Muslim parents. You obey them in everything permissible, but not in anything that involves disbelief or sin. Living with them, spending on them when they need it and visiting them are all part of your duty. All four schools agree.
Kindness to parents is wajib whatever their religion, and spending on poor parents is wajib on a child who can afford it, even if the parents are not Muslim. Obedience is required in what is permissible and forbidden in sin.
The four schools agree on this.
Explanation
The Quran draws the line clearly: if parents push you toward shirk, do not obey that, but keep them company in this world with kindness. Asma, the daughter of Abu Bakr, asked whether she should keep ties with her mother, who was still a polytheist and had come to visit. The Prophet ﷺ said yes, keep ties with your mother.
Living together in a non-Muslim home works well with a few habits:
- Prayer: pray in your room, and a clean towel works as a prayer mat. If you share a room, find a quiet corner.
- Food: help with cooking, offer to buy halal meat, and eat the vegetarian and fish dishes. See eating at a non-Muslim home.
- Family festivals: join the family meal and time together, while staying out of religious rites.
- Disagreements: explain politely why you cannot do something, then do something else kind for them.
Obedience covers chores, family plans, how you dress within modesty, curfews and the like. If they ask you to skip a prayer, eat pork or drink, you decline gently. They have no right over your faith, but they keep every other right. The four schools agree on this.
Pray for their guidance and wellbeing often. Many parents have accepted Islam years later because of a child's character. Read more in rights of parents in Islam.
The evidence
Quran, Surah Luqman 31:15
وَإِن جَٰهَدَاكَ عَلَىٰٓ أَن تُشْرِكَ بِى مَا لَيْسَ لَكَ بِهِۦ عِلْمٌۭ فَلَا تُطِعْهُمَا ۖ وَصَاحِبْهُمَا فِى ٱلدُّنْيَا مَعْرُوفًۭا ۖ وَٱتَّبِعْ سَبِيلَ مَنْ أَنَابَ إِلَىَّ ۚ ثُمَّ إِلَىَّ مَرْجِعُكُمْ فَأُنَبِّئُكُم بِمَا كُنتُمْ تَعْمَلُونَ ﴿١٥﴾
But if they endeavor to make you associate with Me that of which you have no knowledge, do not obey them but accompany them in [this] world with appropriate kindness and follow the way of those who turn back to Me [in repentance]. Then to Me will be your return, and I will inform you about what you used to do.
Kindness to parents continues even when they invite to shirk.
Quran, Surah Al-Ankaboot 29:8
وَوَصَّيْنَا ٱلْإِنسَٰنَ بِوَٰلِدَيْهِ حُسْنًۭا ۖ وَإِن جَٰهَدَاكَ لِتُشْرِكَ بِى مَا لَيْسَ لَكَ بِهِۦ عِلْمٌۭ فَلَا تُطِعْهُمَآ ۚ إِلَىَّ مَرْجِعُكُمْ فَأُنَبِّئُكُم بِمَا كُنتُمْ تَعْمَلُونَ ﴿٨﴾
And We have enjoined upon man goodness to parents. But if they endeavor to make you associate with Me that of which you have no knowledge, do not obey them. To Me is your return, and I will inform you about what you used to do.
Goodness to parents is a general command.
Sahih al-Bukhari 2620
Sahih... نعم صلي أمك ...
"Yes, keep ties with your mother."
The Prophet ﷺ told Asma to keep good ties with her non-Muslim mother.
Where the ruling is recorded
- al-Hidaya, Kitab al-Talaq, Bab al-Nafaqah, the section on spending on parents and relatives. A child must spend on needy parents even when they are not Muslim.
This answer is pending review by the scholars on our team. Quran translation by Sahih International. Hadith Arabic from the standard editions of the six books and the Muwatta, with gradings as recorded there; the English is our own rendering. Spotted a mistake? Tell us.