Short answer
Islam requires mahr, a gift from the husband to the wife. A dowry in the South Asian sense (jahez), where the bride's family gives goods or money to the groom or his family, is not part of Islam. Gifts given freely are allowed, but demanding dowry or pressuring for it is haram. The four schools agree.
Mahr is the wife's right and becomes due by the contract. Jahez is not required of the bride or her family, and what parents give their daughter freely is her own property. Demanding dowry, or making the marriage depend on it, is taking wealth without right and is haram; money a relative takes as a condition for giving her in marriage is a bribe and can be reclaimed.
The four schools agree on this.
Explanation
In English, "dowry" can mean two opposite things. Islamic mahr goes from the groom to the bride and belongs entirely to her (4:4). Jahez, common in South Asia, is goods or cash that the bride's family gives to the couple or to the groom's family. The first is an obligation. The second is a custom.
On mahr itself, see the minimum mahr, deferred mahr and the mahr calculator.
- Jahez is not sunnah. The household things Fatimah took to her marriage were a few simple items, nothing like the modern custom, and scholars note they were bought from Ali's own mahr money.
- Free gifts are fine. Parents may give their daughter furniture, gold or money out of love. It becomes her property, not her husband's or his family's.
- Demands are haram. Asking for cars, cash or furniture, or making the wedding depend on it, is consuming people's wealth unjustly (4:29). It forces families into debt, delays marriages and has led to abuse of brides.
- A bride's mahr is hers. A father or brother may not keep it without her free consent.
The Prophet ﷺ said the best nikah is the easiest. Families who resist dowry demands are following the sunnah, and a man who refuses a dowry is doing the right thing. If you paid dowry under pressure, or a dispute has arisen over gifts after a divorce, ask a mufti about your case. See sunnahs of nikah.
The evidence
Quran, Surah An-Nisaa 4:4
وَءَاتُوا۟ ٱلنِّسَآءَ صَدُقَٰتِهِنَّ نِحْلَةًۭ ۚ فَإِن طِبْنَ لَكُمْ عَن شَىْءٍۢ مِّنْهُ نَفْسًۭا فَكُلُوهُ هَنِيٓـًۭٔا مَّرِيٓـًۭٔا ﴿٤﴾
And give the women [upon marriage] their [bridal] gifts graciously. But if they give up willingly to you anything of it, then take it in satisfaction and ease.
Mahr goes from husband to wife and is hers.
Quran, Surah An-Nisaa 4:29
يَٰٓأَيُّهَا ٱلَّذِينَ ءَامَنُوا۟ لَا تَأْكُلُوٓا۟ أَمْوَٰلَكُم بَيْنَكُم بِٱلْبَٰطِلِ إِلَّآ أَن تَكُونَ تِجَٰرَةً عَن تَرَاضٍۢ مِّنكُمْ ۚ وَلَا تَقْتُلُوٓا۟ أَنفُسَكُمْ ۚ إِنَّ ٱللَّهَ كَانَ بِكُمْ رَحِيمًۭا ﴿٢٩﴾
O you who have believed, do not consume one another's wealth unjustly but only [in lawful] business by mutual consent. And do not kill yourselves [or one another]. Indeed, Allah is to you ever Merciful.
Taking money through pressure or custom without free consent is forbidden.
Sunan Abi Dawud 2117
Grading to be checked... خير النكاح أيسره ...
"The best nikah is the easiest."
Islam wants marriage to be light on both families.
Sahih al-Bukhari 5090
Sahih... تنكح المرأة لأربع لمالها ولحسبها ولجمالها ولدينها فاظفر بذات الدين ...
"A woman is married for four things: her wealth, her family, her beauty and her religion. Win the one with religion."
Wealth is not the aim of marriage.
Where the ruling is recorded
- al-Hidaya, Kitab al-Nikah, Bab al-Mahr. Mahr is the wife's right and due by the contract.
- Radd al-Muhtar (Ibn Abidin), Kitab al-Nikah, Bab al-Mahr, the issues of the trousseau (jahaz). What a father prepares for his daughter is her property, and what a relative takes as a condition of the marriage is a bribe.
Checked by our team. For a more accurate answer to your own situation, consult a scholar. Quran translation by Sahih International. Hadith Arabic from the standard editions of the six books and the Muwatta, with gradings as recorded there; the English is our own rendering. Spotted a mistake? Tell us.