Short answer
You do not need a dream or a sign. After praying istikhara, carry on with the normal steps: consult people you trust and look at the facts. If things move forward easily and your heart settles, that is good. If obstacles keep blocking it, take that as Allah turning it away. You may repeat the istikhara.
Salat al-istikhara is sunnah: two rakats of nafl prayer followed by the istikhara dua, naming the marriage in it. Some Hanafi books mention repeating it up to seven times if the matter is still unclear. The answer is what Allah makes easy and what the heart settles on; a dream is not required.
The four schools agree on this.
Explanation
Jabir said the Prophet ﷺ taught the Companions istikhara for all their affairs as he taught them a surah of the Quran. In the dua you ask Allah: if this matter is good for my deen, my life and my end, decree it for me and make it easy, and if it is bad, turn it away from me and turn me away from it. So the dua itself tells you what the answer looks like: ease and contentment, or the door closing.
How to do it for a marriage proposal:
- Pray two rakats of nafl, at any time that is not disliked for prayer.
- Recite the istikhara dua, and where it says "this matter", have in mind or name the marriage to this person. The full dua is on our istikhara page.
- Continue the usual steps: meet, ask questions, consult family and people who know the person.
- Repeat it on following days if you are unsure.
Common myths. You do not have to sleep straight after it, facing the qibla, or see green or white in a dream. A dream may come, but it is not the method. Paying someone to do "istikhara services" for you has no basis; make it yourself, since it is your own dua to Allah. Parents may also pray for you.
Istikhara does not replace your judgement. It is asked alongside consultation, and then you act and trust Allah. If later the marriage has hard times, that does not mean the istikhara was wrong. Perhaps you hate a thing and it is good for you (2:216). See questions to ask and when to pray istikhara.
The evidence
Quran, Surah Al-Baqara 2:216
كُتِبَ عَلَيْكُمُ ٱلْقِتَالُ وَهُوَ كُرْهٌۭ لَّكُمْ ۖ وَعَسَىٰٓ أَن تَكْرَهُوا۟ شَيْـًۭٔا وَهُوَ خَيْرٌۭ لَّكُمْ ۖ وَعَسَىٰٓ أَن تُحِبُّوا۟ شَيْـًۭٔا وَهُوَ شَرٌّۭ لَّكُمْ ۗ وَٱللَّهُ يَعْلَمُ وَأَنتُمْ لَا تَعْلَمُونَ ﴿٢١٦﴾
Fighting has been enjoined upon you while it is hateful to you. But perhaps you hate a thing and it is good for you; and perhaps you love a thing and it is bad for you. And Allah Knows, while you know not.
Allah knows the outcome when we do not.
Quran, Surah Aal-i-Imraan 3:159
فَبِمَا رَحْمَةٍۢ مِّنَ ٱللَّهِ لِنتَ لَهُمْ ۖ وَلَوْ كُنتَ فَظًّا غَلِيظَ ٱلْقَلْبِ لَٱنفَضُّوا۟ مِنْ حَوْلِكَ ۖ فَٱعْفُ عَنْهُمْ وَٱسْتَغْفِرْ لَهُمْ وَشَاوِرْهُمْ فِى ٱلْأَمْرِ ۖ فَإِذَا عَزَمْتَ فَتَوَكَّلْ عَلَى ٱللَّهِ ۚ إِنَّ ٱللَّهَ يُحِبُّ ٱلْمُتَوَكِّلِينَ ﴿١٥٩﴾
So by mercy from Allah, [O Muhammad], you were lenient with them. And if you had been rude [in speech] and harsh in heart, they would have disbanded from about you. So pardon them and ask forgiveness for them and consult them in the matter. And when you have decided, then rely upon Allah. Indeed, Allah loves those who rely [upon Him].
After consulting and deciding, trust Allah.
Sahih al-Bukhari 1166
Sahih... إذا هم أحدكم بالأمر فليركع ركعتين من غير الفريضة ...
"When one of you is concerned about a matter, let him pray two rakats other than the obligatory prayer."
The basis of salat al-istikhara.
Where the ruling is recorded
- Radd al-Muhtar (Ibn Abidin), Kitab al-Salah, Bab al-Witr wa al-Nawafil, on salat al-istikhara. Istikhara is sunnah, and repeating it up to seven times is mentioned.
- Nur al-Idah with Maraqi al-Falah, chapter on recommended prayers. Istikhara among the recommended nafl prayers.
Checked by our team. For a more accurate answer to your own situation, consult a scholar. Quran translation by Sahih International. Hadith Arabic from the standard editions of the six books and the Muwatta, with gradings as recorded there; the English is our own rendering. Spotted a mistake? Tell us.