Short answer
Before the gift is handed over, you can change your mind. After it is handed over, taking it back is strongly disliked: the Prophet ﷺ compared it to a dog returning to its vomit. In the Hanafi school a gift to a spouse or a close relative can never be taken back; a gift to others can only be reversed with the receiver's consent or a judge's ruling.
A gift (hiba) is complete only on delivery. After delivery, revoking it is makruh tahrimi, and it is valid only by mutual consent or a court ruling. Revocation is barred altogether for gifts to a spouse or a close mahram relative, after either party dies, when something was given in return, when the gift has been added to or has left the receiver's ownership, or when it has been destroyed.
Other madhhabs
- Shafi'i
- Revoking a delivered gift is not allowed for anyone except a parent who gave to his child.
- Maliki
- Only a parent may take back a gift to his child, within limits.
- Hanbali
- Only a father may take back what he gave his child.
Explanation
Giving gifts is a sunnah that builds love, and taking them back damages it. The Prophet ﷺ said, "The one who takes back his gift is like a dog that vomits and then returns to its vomit." The other schools take a further hadith to mean that no one may take back a gift except a parent from a child. The Hanafi school reads the hadith as showing how ugly it is, and allows revocation in limited cases with consent or a ruling.
When a gift can never be taken back in the Hanafi school:
- It was given to your husband or wife.
- It was given to a close relative you could never marry, such as a parent, child, brother or sister.
- The giver or the receiver has died.
- The receiver gave something in return for it.
- The receiver added to it (built on the land, for example), sold it, gave it away, or it was destroyed.
Common questions:
- A broken engagement: gifts given during an engagement may be asked back if they still exist, since the reason they were given has fallen away. The mahr is different. Ask a mufti about your case.
- A promise of a gift: until you hand it over, it is not yet the receiver's, though keeping your word is better.
- Gifts to children: giving one child more than the others without good reason is discouraged. See dividing wealth among children.
See also Is giving gifts sunnah?
Ask a mufti about your own case. This answer explains the general ruling. When the details of your situation matter, as they do here, ask a qualified mufti and give them the full facts. Where to ask a scholar.
The evidence
Quran, Surah An-Nisaa 4:4
وَءَاتُوا۟ ٱلنِّسَآءَ صَدُقَٰتِهِنَّ نِحْلَةًۭ ۚ فَإِن طِبْنَ لَكُمْ عَن شَىْءٍۢ مِّنْهُ نَفْسًۭا فَكُلُوهُ هَنِيٓـًۭٔا مَّرِيٓـًۭٔا ﴿٤﴾
And give the women [upon marriage] their [bridal] gifts graciously. But if they give up willingly to you anything of it, then take it in satisfaction and ease.
What is given willingly becomes the receiver's to enjoy.
Sahih al-Bukhari 2589
Sahih... العائد في هبته كالكلب يقيء ثم يعود في قيئه ...
"The one who takes back his gift is like a dog that vomits and then returns to its vomit."
Taking back a gift is strongly disliked.
Sunan Abi Dawud 3539
Grading to be checked... لا يحل لرجل أن يعطي عطية أو يهب هبة فيرجع فيها إلا الوالد فيما يعطي ولده ...
"It is not lawful for a man to give a gift and then take it back, except a father in what he gives his child."
The other schools' main evidence for limiting revocation to parents.
Where the ruling is recorded
- al-Hidaya, Kitab al-Hiba, Bab al-Ruju' fi al-Hiba. Revocation by consent or ruling, and the bars to it.
- al-Durr al-Mukhtar with Radd al-Muhtar, Kitab al-Hiba. The list of bars to revocation and the ruling on engagement gifts.
- al-Mughni (Ibn Qudama), Kitab al-Hiba. The Hanbali view limiting revocation to a father.
Checked by our team. For a more accurate answer to your own situation, consult a scholar. Quran translation by Sahih International. Hadith Arabic from the standard editions of the six books and the Muwatta, with gradings as recorded there; the English is our own rendering. Spotted a mistake? Tell us.