Short answer
You may not ask Allah to forgive or grant Paradise to someone who died as a non-Muslim; the Quran forbids it even for relatives. You can still speak kindly of them, comfort their family, pray for patience and guidance for the living, and leave their affair to Allah.
Seeking forgiveness (istighfar) or mercy in the hereafter for a person known to have died upon disbelief is haram, and the janazah prayer is not prayed for them. Kind words of condolence and dua for the living relatives are permitted.
The four schools agree on this.
Explanation
This question often comes from love: a convert whose mother has died, or a Muslim whose kind neighbour or colleague has passed away. The pain is real, and Islam does not ask you to hide it.
The ruling. Allah says it is not for the Prophet and the believers to ask forgiveness for those who associated partners with Him, even if they are relatives. The Prophet ﷺ asked to seek forgiveness for his mother and was not permitted, though he was permitted to visit her grave, and he wept there. The four schools agree.
- Say Inna lillahi wa inna ilayhi raji'un: all of us belong to Allah and return to Him.
- Comfort the family: "I am so sorry. May God give you patience and strength."
- Pray for the living relatives: for their patience, comfort and guidance.
- Remember the person's kindness and speak well of what was good in them.
- Attend the funeral to support the family, without joining religious rites; see attending a non-Muslim funeral.
- Avoid saying "may Allah forgive him" or "may he rest in Paradise" as a dua for them.
- Do not pray the janazah for them.
Only Allah knows what was in a person's heart at the end, or what message reached them. We judge by what is apparent and leave the unseen to the One who is perfectly just and merciful. If you are unsure whether someone accepted Islam before death, speak to a scholar who knows the details. You may also visit their grave; see visiting a non-Muslim's grave.
The evidence
Quran, Surah At-Tawba 9:113
مَا كَانَ لِلنَّبِىِّ وَٱلَّذِينَ ءَامَنُوٓا۟ أَن يَسْتَغْفِرُوا۟ لِلْمُشْرِكِينَ وَلَوْ كَانُوٓا۟ أُو۟لِى قُرْبَىٰ مِنۢ بَعْدِ مَا تَبَيَّنَ لَهُمْ أَنَّهُمْ أَصْحَٰبُ ٱلْجَحِيمِ ﴿١١٣﴾
It is not for the Prophet and those who have believed to ask forgiveness for the polytheists, even if they were relatives, after it has become clear to them that they are companions of Hellfire.
Seeking forgiveness for one who died as a non-Muslim is forbidden.
Quran, Surah Al-Mumtahana 60:8
لَّا يَنْهَىٰكُمُ ٱللَّهُ عَنِ ٱلَّذِينَ لَمْ يُقَٰتِلُوكُمْ فِى ٱلدِّينِ وَلَمْ يُخْرِجُوكُم مِّن دِيَٰرِكُمْ أَن تَبَرُّوهُمْ وَتُقْسِطُوٓا۟ إِلَيْهِمْ ۚ إِنَّ ٱللَّهَ يُحِبُّ ٱلْمُقْسِطِينَ ﴿٨﴾
Allah does not forbid you from those who do not fight you because of religion and do not expel you from your homes - from being righteous toward them and acting justly toward them. Indeed, Allah loves those who act justly.
Kindness to non-Muslim families remains good.
Sahih Muslim 976
Sahih... استأذنت ربي أن أستغفر لأمي فلم يأذن لي ...
"I asked my Lord's permission to seek forgiveness for my mother, and He did not permit me."
Even the Prophet ﷺ was not permitted to seek forgiveness for a parent who died before Islam.
Where the ruling is recorded
- Radd al-Muhtar (Ibn Abidin), Kitab al-Salah, Bab Salat al-Janazah. No janazah or istighfar for a non-Muslim.
- al-Fatawa al-Hindiyya, Kitab al-Karahiyya. Condoling a non-Muslim and what may be said.
Checked by our team. For a more accurate answer to your own situation, consult a scholar. Quran translation by Sahih International. Hadith Arabic from the standard editions of the six books and the Muwatta, with gradings as recorded there; the English is our own rendering. Spotted a mistake? Tell us.