Short answer
Between spouses it is not haram in itself, but Hanafi muftis regard it as disliked (makruh) because it is against modesty and risks contact with impure fluids, and swallowing any such fluid is haram. Outside marriage it is haram and a grave sin, though it is not zina in the legal sense.
No text forbids it between husband and wife, and Abu Hanifa saw no harm in spouses touching each other's private parts. But mouth to genital contact is makruh, and many Deobandi fatwas call it makruh tahrimi where pre-seminal fluid (madhy) may reach the mouth, because that fluid is impure. Taking impurity into the mouth or swallowing it is haram.
The four schools agree on this.
Explanation
Within marriage the starting point is permission. Allah describes believers as those who guard their private parts "except from their wives" (23:5 to 6), and says to come to your wives however you wish (2:223). Only a few things are clearly forbidden: intercourse during her period or postnatal bleeding, anal intercourse, and anything that harms. See what is forbidden in intimacy.
Oral contact is not on that list, which is why Hanafi scholars do not call it haram. They discourage it for three reasons:
- Impurity. In the Hanafi school madhy (pre-seminal fluid) and mani (semen) are impure. The mouth should not take in impurity, and swallowing it is haram.
- Modesty (haya). The mouth recites the Quran and makes dhikr, and scholars count this act as against the dignity of that.
- Health. Doctors note that infections can pass this way.
If a couple do it, the scholars who discuss it set limits: both must be willing, neither may press the other, no fluid is swallowed, and the mouth is rinsed afterwards. If one spouse dislikes it, the other must respect that. Scholars outside the Hanafi school also differ: some contemporary scholars allow it with care over impurity, and others discourage it as the Hanafis do.
Outside marriage any sexual contact is haram. Oral sex is not the zina that carries the fixed punishment, because that requires intercourse, but it is part of what the hadith calls the zina of the limbs and a grave sin. See what counts as zina and repenting from zina.
The evidence
Quran, Surah Al-Muminoon 23:6
إِلَّا عَلَىٰٓ أَزْوَٰجِهِمْ أَوْ مَا مَلَكَتْ أَيْمَٰنُهُمْ فَإِنَّهُمْ غَيْرُ مَلُومِينَ ﴿٦﴾
Except from their wives or those their right hands possess, for indeed, they will not be blamed -
Spouses are lawful to each other, so permission is the starting point.
Quran, Surah Al-Baqara 2:223
نِسَآؤُكُمْ حَرْثٌۭ لَّكُمْ فَأْتُوا۟ حَرْثَكُمْ أَنَّىٰ شِئْتُمْ ۖ وَقَدِّمُوا۟ لِأَنفُسِكُمْ ۚ وَٱتَّقُوا۟ ٱللَّهَ وَٱعْلَمُوٓا۟ أَنَّكُم مُّلَٰقُوهُ ۗ وَبَشِّرِ ٱلْمُؤْمِنِينَ ﴿٢٢٣﴾
Your wives are a place of sowing of seed for you, so come to your place of cultivation however you wish and put forth [righteousness] for yourselves. And fear Allah and know that you will meet Him. And give good tidings to the believers.
Wide freedom between spouses, within the limits the Shariah names.
Sunan Abi Dawud 4017
Graded hasan... احفظ عورتك إلا من زوجتك أو ما ملكت يمينك ...
"Guard your private parts except from your wife or those your right hand possesses."
There is no awrah between husband and wife.
Where the ruling is recorded
- al-Fatawa al-Hindiyya, Kitab al-Karahiyya, chapter on looking and touching. Reports that Abu Hanifa saw no harm in spouses touching each other's private parts.
- Radd al-Muhtar (Ibn Abidin), Kitab al-Taharah, Bab al-Anjas. Madhy and mani are impure in the Hanafi school, which is the basis of the dislike.
Checked by our team. For a more accurate answer to your own situation, consult a scholar. Quran translation by Sahih International. Hadith Arabic from the standard editions of the six books and the Muwatta, with gradings as recorded there; the English is our own rendering. Spotted a mistake? Tell us.