Short answer
Consummation is the first intercourse after the nikah. The nikah is valid before it, but consummation confirms the full mahr and the wife's iddah if the marriage ends. In the Hanafi school, valid privacy (khalwah sahihah) has the same effects. Before both, a divorce gives the wife half the named mahr and no iddah.
The full mahr is confirmed by intercourse, by valid privacy with no physical or legal barrier, or by the death of either spouse. A divorce before these gives her half of the named mahr, or a gift (mut'ah) if no mahr was named. Iddah is required after valid privacy even without intercourse, as a precaution.
Other madhhabs
- Shafi'i
- Only actual intercourse confirms the full mahr and makes iddah due. Privacy alone does not, in the school's relied-upon view.
- Maliki
- Intercourse confirms the full mahr. After a private meeting, her word that intercourse happened is accepted, and a long stay together also confirms it.
Explanation
A nikah is complete the moment the offer and acceptance are made before witnesses. The couple are husband and wife from then on, even if they live apart for months, as many families do when the nikah is done early and the wedding (rukhsati) later. Consummation does not make the marriage valid. It changes some of the rights that follow from it.
- Mahr. Before consummation, a divorce gives the wife half of the named mahr (2:237). After it, the full mahr is hers (4:21). See deferred mahr.
- Iddah. A wife divorced before being touched has no waiting period (33:49). After consummation or valid privacy she must complete it.
- Taking her back. A talaq before consummation is final (ba'in), so returning needs a new nikah.
- Stepdaughters. A man may marry the daughter of a woman he divorced before consummation, but never after it (4:23).
Valid privacy. For the Hanafis, if the couple are alone in a closed place where intercourse was possible, with nothing preventing it such as serious illness, an obligatory fast, ihram or her period, the law treats it like consummation for mahr and iddah. Umar ruled that once the curtains are drawn the mahr is due, and the Hanbalis agree.
There is no fixed time for the first night, and no test of virginity in Islam. Displaying a sheet or questioning a bride is a cultural practice with no basis, and it violates privacy. For the sunnahs of that night, see the wedding night.
The evidence
Quran, Surah Al-Baqara 2:237
وَإِن طَلَّقْتُمُوهُنَّ مِن قَبْلِ أَن تَمَسُّوهُنَّ وَقَدْ فَرَضْتُمْ لَهُنَّ فَرِيضَةًۭ فَنِصْفُ مَا فَرَضْتُمْ إِلَّآ أَن يَعْفُونَ أَوْ يَعْفُوَا۟ ٱلَّذِى بِيَدِهِۦ عُقْدَةُ ٱلنِّكَاحِ ۚ وَأَن تَعْفُوٓا۟ أَقْرَبُ لِلتَّقْوَىٰ ۚ وَلَا تَنسَوُا۟ ٱلْفَضْلَ بَيْنَكُمْ ۚ إِنَّ ٱللَّهَ بِمَا تَعْمَلُونَ بَصِيرٌ ﴿٢٣٧﴾
And if you divorce them before you have touched them and you have already specified for them an obligation, then [give] half of what you specified - unless they forego the right or the one in whose hand is the marriage contract foregoes it. And to forego it is nearer to righteousness. And do not forget graciousness between you. Indeed Allah, of whatever you do, is Seeing.
Half the named mahr is due when divorce comes before consummation.
Quran, Surah Al-Ahzaab 33:49
يَٰٓأَيُّهَا ٱلَّذِينَ ءَامَنُوٓا۟ إِذَا نَكَحْتُمُ ٱلْمُؤْمِنَٰتِ ثُمَّ طَلَّقْتُمُوهُنَّ مِن قَبْلِ أَن تَمَسُّوهُنَّ فَمَا لَكُمْ عَلَيْهِنَّ مِنْ عِدَّةٍۢ تَعْتَدُّونَهَا ۖ فَمَتِّعُوهُنَّ وَسَرِّحُوهُنَّ سَرَاحًۭا جَمِيلًۭا ﴿٤٩﴾
O You who have believed, when you marry believing women and then divorce them before you have touched them, then there is not for you any waiting period to count concerning them. So provide for them and give them a gracious release.
No iddah is due from a wife divorced before being touched.
Quran, Surah An-Nisaa 4:21
وَكَيْفَ تَأْخُذُونَهُۥ وَقَدْ أَفْضَىٰ بَعْضُكُمْ إِلَىٰ بَعْضٍۢ وَأَخَذْنَ مِنكُم مِّيثَٰقًا غَلِيظًۭا ﴿٢١﴾
And how could you take it while you have gone in unto each other and they have taken from you a solemn covenant?
After the couple have been together, the mahr cannot be taken back.
Muwatta Malik 1102
Graded in the Muwatta... إذا أرخيت الستور فقد وجب الصداق ...
"Once the curtains have been drawn, the mahr becomes due."
Umar's ruling, the basis of the Hanafi and Hanbali rule on valid privacy.
Where the ruling is recorded
- al-Hidaya, Kitab al-Nikah, Bab al-Mahr. Valid privacy is treated like intercourse for the full mahr and the iddah.
- Radd al-Muhtar (Ibn Abidin), Kitab al-Nikah, Bab al-Mahr. Lists the barriers that stop privacy from being valid.
- Minhaj al-Talibin (Nawawi), Kitab al-Sadaq. The Shafi'i view that privacy alone does not confirm the full mahr.
Checked by our team. For a more accurate answer to your own situation, consult a scholar. Quran translation by Sahih International. Hadith Arabic from the standard editions of the six books and the Muwatta, with gradings as recorded there; the English is our own rendering. Spotted a mistake? Tell us.