Short answer
The mahr belongs to the wife alone. Her parents, her husband and his family have no right to it, and the husband cannot take it back except by her free choice or in khula. Wedding jewellery depends on how it was given: as mahr or as a gift it is hers; if it was clearly lent, it stays with the family that lent it.
Mahr is the wife's full property, which she may spend, save or give as she likes. A father who receives it on his daughter's behalf holds it for her and must hand it over; he has no right to keep it. A gift between spouses cannot be taken back. Whether wedding jewellery and gifts were given as ownership or as a loan is decided by what was said and by local custom ('urf).
The four schools agree on this.
Explanation
Allah tells husbands to give wives their mahr (4:4), and forbids taking any of it back, even if it was "a great amount" (4:20). When a couple separated by li'an, the Prophet ﷺ told the husband that the mahr he had paid stayed with her, for what he had made lawful of her. The four schools agree the mahr is hers.
Situations people ask about:
- The father keeps his daughter's mahr. Not allowed without her free consent. It is her property, like her salary.
- The in-laws take the bride's gold "for safe keeping" and keep it. If it was her mahr or a gift to her, holding it against her will is haram and must be returned.
- The husband sells her gold for his business. Only with her permission. Unless she clearly gives it to him, it is a debt he must repay.
- After divorce. Her mahr and gifts made to her stay hers. Jewellery the groom's family only lent goes back, if that was the clear understanding. In khula she may agree to return the mahr. See khula.
- Zakat. She pays zakat on her own gold when it reaches the nisab, not her husband.
Many disputes come from vague customs. The simple fix is to write down at the wedding what is mahr, what is a gift to the bride and what is a family heirloom being lent. See what mahr is and the mahr calculator.
The evidence
Quran, Surah An-Nisaa 4:4
وَءَاتُوا۟ ٱلنِّسَآءَ صَدُقَٰتِهِنَّ نِحْلَةًۭ ۚ فَإِن طِبْنَ لَكُمْ عَن شَىْءٍۢ مِّنْهُ نَفْسًۭا فَكُلُوهُ هَنِيٓـًۭٔا مَّرِيٓـًۭٔا ﴿٤﴾
And give the women [upon marriage] their [bridal] gifts graciously. But if they give up willingly to you anything of it, then take it in satisfaction and ease.
The mahr is given to the wife herself.
Quran, Surah An-Nisaa 4:20
وَإِنْ أَرَدتُّمُ ٱسْتِبْدَالَ زَوْجٍۢ مَّكَانَ زَوْجٍۢ وَءَاتَيْتُمْ إِحْدَىٰهُنَّ قِنطَارًۭا فَلَا تَأْخُذُوا۟ مِنْهُ شَيْـًٔا ۚ أَتَأْخُذُونَهُۥ بُهْتَٰنًۭا وَإِثْمًۭا مُّبِينًۭا ﴿٢٠﴾
But if you want to replace one wife with another and you have given one of them a great amount [in gifts], do not take [back] from it anything. Would you take it in injustice and manifest sin?
A husband may not take back what he gave.
Sahih al-Bukhari 5312
Sahih... فهو بما استحللت من فرجها ...
"If you spoke the truth about her, the mahr is hers for what you made lawful of her."
Even when a marriage ends badly, the mahr stays with the wife.
Where the ruling is recorded
- Radd al-Muhtar (Ibn Abidin), Kitab al-Nikah, Bab al-Mahr, on gifts sent to the bride and disputes over the trousseau. Whether jewellery was a gift or a loan follows what was said and the custom.
- al-Hidaya, Kitab al-Hiba, on revoking a gift. Marriage is a bar to taking back a gift between spouses.
Checked by our team. For a more accurate answer to your own situation, consult a scholar. Quran translation by Sahih International. Hadith Arabic from the standard editions of the six books and the Muwatta, with gradings as recorded there; the English is our own rendering. Spotted a mistake? Tell us.