Short answer
The groom. Islam puts the mahr and the walimah (wedding feast) on the husband, and asks nothing from the bride's family. A feast or gifts from the bride's side are a cultural custom: allowed if given freely and modestly, but no one may demand them. Going into debt or spending to show off for a wedding is disliked. The four schools agree the walimah is the groom's.
Mahr is wajib on the husband, and the walimah is a sunnah for him to host according to his means. The bride's family owe nothing. Their hosting a meal is permissible if voluntary and free of extravagance, but treating it as a duty or pressing them for it is wrong, as is demanding dowry.
The four schools agree on this.
Explanation
When Abdur Rahman ibn Awf married in Madinah, the Prophet ﷺ told him: hold a walimah, even with one sheep. The feast was his, as the groom. The Prophet ﷺ himself hosted walimahs for his own marriages, some with meat and some with only dates and butter. See the walimah.
What falls on whom:
- Groom: the mahr, the walimah, and from the nikah onwards the home and maintenance.
- Bride's family: nothing is required. Parents may give their daughter gifts, which become hers. See dowry.
- Shared costs: families may agree to share a hall or meal. That is fine when both truly agree.
In South Asian and Arab cultures, the bride's family often hosts a large dinner for the groom's guests, and the groom's side may expect it. Scholars of the Deobandi tradition warn that this has become a burden that delays marriages and puts families into debt, sometimes with interest. Allah says to eat and drink "but be not excessive" (7:31), and calls the wasteful the brothers of the devils (17:27).
The Prophet ﷺ said the best nikah is the easiest. A small nikah in the mosque, a modest walimah and money saved for the couple's home is closer to the sunnah than a lavish event. See sunnahs of nikah and our nikah guide.
The evidence
Quran, Surah Al-A'raaf 7:31
۞ يَٰبَنِىٓ ءَادَمَ خُذُوا۟ زِينَتَكُمْ عِندَ كُلِّ مَسْجِدٍۢ وَكُلُوا۟ وَٱشْرَبُوا۟ وَلَا تُسْرِفُوٓا۟ ۚ إِنَّهُۥ لَا يُحِبُّ ٱلْمُسْرِفِينَ ﴿٣١﴾
O children of Adam, take your adornment at every masjid, and eat and drink, but be not excessive. Indeed, He likes not those who commit excess.
Extravagance is disliked, including at weddings.
Quran, Surah Al-Israa 17:27
إِنَّ ٱلْمُبَذِّرِينَ كَانُوٓا۟ إِخْوَٰنَ ٱلشَّيَٰطِينِ ۖ وَكَانَ ٱلشَّيْطَٰنُ لِرَبِّهِۦ كَفُورًۭا ﴿٢٧﴾
Indeed, the wasteful are brothers of the devils, and ever has Satan been to his Lord ungrateful.
Waste is condemned.
Sahih al-Bukhari 5167
Sahih... أولم ولو بشاة ...
"Hold a wedding feast, even if only with one sheep."
The groom hosts the walimah.
Sunan Abi Dawud 2117
Grading to be checked... خير النكاح أيسره ...
"The best nikah is the easiest."
Simple weddings are the sunnah.
Where the ruling is recorded
- Radd al-Muhtar (Ibn Abidin), Kitab al-Hazr wa al-Ibaha, on the walimah. The walimah is sunnah for the husband.
- al-Hidaya, Kitab al-Karahiyya, on invitations to the walimah. Accepting the walimah invitation and avoiding gatherings with wrongdoing.
Checked by our team. For a more accurate answer to your own situation, consult a scholar. Quran translation by Sahih International. Hadith Arabic from the standard editions of the six books and the Muwatta, with gradings as recorded there; the English is our own rendering. Spotted a mistake? Tell us.