Short answer
Using an app or website to find a spouse is permitted, as a modern form of asking around or using a matchmaker, as long as you keep Islamic manners: a clear aim of marriage, modest photos and talk, no flirting in private, and bringing in families early. Using apps for casual dating is haram. The four schools' principles agree.
Seeking a spouse through any lawful means is permissible. The rules of looking, speaking and being alone with a non-mahram apply online just as offline, so conversation should be purposeful and modest and should lead to the families and a nikah.
The four schools agree on this.
Explanation
Many Muslims in the West, especially converts and those far from family, have no network to find a spouse. Apps and websites fill that gap. In fiqh, a means takes the ruling of its aim and its manner: a halal aim, marriage, pursued in a halal way is permitted.
- Intention: marriage, not passing time or attention.
- Photos: modest. Looking at a prospective spouse is sunnah, since it helps lasting love, but endless browsing is not.
- Conversation: purposeful, about faith, goals, family and expectations. No flirting, sexual talk or sharing images.
- Family: involve a wali or parent early. Some apps let a woman add a chaperone to chats.
- Meeting: in a public place or with family, never alone. When a man and woman are alone, Shaytan is the third.
- Honesty and safety: real photos and facts, and caution about scammers.
When it becomes haram: using hook-up or dating apps, months of private chatting with no plan, secret relationships, and anything that would be haram face to face. See dating and talking before nikah.
Pray istikharah before deciding, and when it is right, move to a simple nikah. See sunnahs of nikah and a woman proposing.
The evidence
Quran, Surah An-Noor 24:30
قُل لِّلْمُؤْمِنِينَ يَغُضُّوا۟ مِنْ أَبْصَٰرِهِمْ وَيَحْفَظُوا۟ فُرُوجَهُمْ ۚ ذَٰلِكَ أَزْكَىٰ لَهُمْ ۗ إِنَّ ٱللَّهَ خَبِيرٌۢ بِمَا يَصْنَعُونَ ﴿٣٠﴾
Tell the believing men to reduce [some] of their vision and guard their private parts. That is purer for them. Indeed, Allah is Acquainted with what they do.
Lowering the gaze applies to screens as well.
Quran, Surah An-Noor 24:32
وَأَنكِحُوا۟ ٱلْأَيَٰمَىٰ مِنكُمْ وَٱلصَّٰلِحِينَ مِنْ عِبَادِكُمْ وَإِمَآئِكُمْ ۚ إِن يَكُونُوا۟ فُقَرَآءَ يُغْنِهِمُ ٱللَّهُ مِن فَضْلِهِۦ ۗ وَٱللَّهُ وَٰسِعٌ عَلِيمٌۭ ﴿٣٢﴾
And marry the unmarried among you and the righteous among your male slaves and female slaves. If they should be poor, Allah will enrich them from His bounty, and Allah is all-Encompassing and Knowing.
Helping people find spouses is encouraged.
Jami' at-Tirmidhi 1087
Graded sahih... انظر إليها فإنه أحرى أن يؤدم بينكما ...
"Look at her, for that is more likely to create lasting love between you."
Seeing a prospective spouse for marriage is sunnah.
Jami' at-Tirmidhi 2165
Graded sahih... لا يخلون رجل بامرأة إلا كان ثالثهما الشيطان ...
"A man is not alone with a woman except that Shaytan is the third of them."
Private meetings, and by extension private chats that drift, are a danger.
Where the ruling is recorded
- al-Fatawa al-Hindiyya, Kitab al-Karahiyya, chapter on looking. A man may look at a woman he intends to marry.
- Radd al-Muhtar (Ibn Abidin), Kitab al-Hazr wa al-Ibahah, Fasl fi al-Nazar wa al-Mass. Speaking with a non-mahram for a need is allowed without softness or flirtation.
Checked by our team. For a more accurate answer to your own situation, consult a scholar. Quran translation by Sahih International. Hadith Arabic from the standard editions of the six books and the Muwatta, with gradings as recorded there; the English is our own rendering. Spotted a mistake? Tell us.