Short answer
The Hanafi school sets no fixed limit, but a husband may not stay away so long, against his wife's wishes, that she is harmed or tempted. Many scholars use four months as a guide, from the ayah of ila and a reported ruling of Umar for soldiers. Working away with her free agreement is allowed, and he must keep providing for her.
Being away with her consent and while providing for her is permissible. Staying away without need, or against her wishes, so that her right to companionship and chastity is harmed, is sinful. If he disappears or abandons her without maintenance, later Hanafi scholars, following Thanawi's al-Hilah al-Najizah, allow her to seek dissolution from a Muslim judge or council.
Other madhhabs
- Hanbali
- If he is away more than six months without a valid excuse and she asks him to return, he must, and if he refuses she may ask a judge for separation.
Explanation
Allah gave a limit of four months to a husband who swears not to approach his wife (2:226). In the Hanafi school, if he keeps that oath for four months, she is divorced by a final talaq. Scholars take from this that four months is about as long as a wife should be left without her husband against her will.
It is reported that Umar heard a woman at night lamenting her absent husband, asked his daughter Hafsah how long a woman can bear her husband's absence, and then ordered that soldiers not be kept away for longer than about four to six months. The report is in the collections of athar, and scholars use it as a guide rather than a fixed law.
Today's situations:
- Working abroad or long shifts: agree it with your wife first, keep providing, stay in touch daily, and visit as often as you can. Take her with you if possible.
- Studying or training: the same rules. Her consent matters.
- Separation after a fight: sleeping in another room is one of the Quran's steps, but leaving the home for months to punish her is harm (2:231).
- A husband who has disappeared or stopped providing: she does not have to wait for ever. See valid reasons for divorce.
Your wife has a right over you, the Prophet ﷺ said. See how often to be intimate and the duty to provide.
The evidence
Quran, Surah Al-Baqara 2:226
لِّلَّذِينَ يُؤْلُونَ مِن نِّسَآئِهِمْ تَرَبُّصُ أَرْبَعَةِ أَشْهُرٍۢ ۖ فَإِن فَآءُو فَإِنَّ ٱللَّهَ غَفُورٌۭ رَّحِيمٌۭ ﴿٢٢٦﴾
For those who swear not to have sexual relations with their wives is a waiting time of four months, but if they return [to normal relations] - then indeed, Allah is Forgiving and Merciful.
The four-month limit used as a guide.
Quran, Surah Al-Baqara 2:231
وَإِذَا طَلَّقْتُمُ ٱلنِّسَآءَ فَبَلَغْنَ أَجَلَهُنَّ فَأَمْسِكُوهُنَّ بِمَعْرُوفٍ أَوْ سَرِّحُوهُنَّ بِمَعْرُوفٍۢ ۚ وَلَا تُمْسِكُوهُنَّ ضِرَارًۭا لِّتَعْتَدُوا۟ ۚ وَمَن يَفْعَلْ ذَٰلِكَ فَقَدْ ظَلَمَ نَفْسَهُۥ ۚ وَلَا تَتَّخِذُوٓا۟ ءَايَٰتِ ٱللَّهِ هُزُوًۭا ۚ وَٱذْكُرُوا۟ نِعْمَتَ ٱللَّهِ عَلَيْكُمْ وَمَآ أَنزَلَ عَلَيْكُم مِّنَ ٱلْكِتَٰبِ وَٱلْحِكْمَةِ يَعِظُكُم بِهِۦ ۚ وَٱتَّقُوا۟ ٱللَّهَ وَٱعْلَمُوٓا۟ أَنَّ ٱللَّهَ بِكُلِّ شَىْءٍ عَلِيمٌۭ ﴿٢٣١﴾
And when you divorce women and they have [nearly] fulfilled their term, either retain them according to acceptable terms or release them according to acceptable terms, and do not keep them, intending harm, to transgress [against them]. And whoever does that has certainly wronged himself. And do not take the verses of Allah in jest. And remember the favor of Allah upon you and what has been revealed to you of the Book and wisdom by which He instructs you. And fear Allah and know that Allah is Knowing of all things.
Leaving a wife to harm her is forbidden.
Sahih al-Bukhari 5199
Sahih... وإن لزوجك عليك حقا ...
"And your wife has a right over you."
A husband may not neglect his wife.
Where the ruling is recorded
- al-Hidaya, Kitab al-Talaq, Bab al-Ila'. The four-month oath and its effect.
- Radd al-Muhtar (Ibn Abidin), Kitab al-Nikah, Bab al-Qasm. The husband's duty not to leave his wife for long, citing Umar's ruling.
- al-Hilah al-Najizah (Ashraf Ali Thanawi), chapters on the missing husband and the husband who does not provide. Dissolution by a Muslim judge or council where the husband disappears or does not maintain her.
- al-Mughni (Ibn Qudama), Kitab 'Ishrat al-Nisa'. The Hanbali six-month rule for an absent husband.
Checked by our team. For a more accurate answer to your own situation, consult a scholar. Quran translation by Sahih International. Hadith Arabic from the standard editions of the six books and the Muwatta, with gradings as recorded there; the English is our own rendering. Spotted a mistake? Tell us.