Short answer
There is no deadline to consummate, but a wife does not have to accept being left untouched. In the Hanafi school, if the husband cannot have intercourse with her at all, she can go to a Muslim judge, who gives him one year for treatment. If it still has not happened, the marriage can be dissolved at her request.
If the husband is impotent ('innin) and has never had intercourse with her, the wife may raise it with a qadi, who sets a delay of one year from the hearing. If he has still not consummated it, she may choose separation, which counts as one irrevocable talaq. After valid privacy (khalwah) she receives the full mahr and observes iddah. If he consummated it even once, later impotence gives her no right of separation in this school.
Other madhhabs
- Shafi'i
- Also gives the impotent husband a year, and allows either spouse to annul the marriage for certain defects in the other, such as insanity or leprosy.
- Maliki
- Also gives the impotent husband a year, and allows either spouse to seek annulment for certain defects in the other.
- Hanbali
- Also gives a year, and allows either spouse to annul for listed defects in the other.
Explanation
A nikah is complete without consummation, and many couples wait for the wedding (rukhsati) before living together. That delay by choice is fine. See what consummation means. The problem is when one spouse cannot, or will not, ever consummate the marriage.
If the husband is impotent. Intimacy is one of the main purposes of marriage, and the Quran tells a husband either to keep his wife well or to release her kindly (2:229). Following a ruling of Umar, the Hanafi school gives him a year so that he can seek treatment through the seasons. If there is still no consummation, the wife may ask for separation. In the West this is done by a sharia council or Islamic tribunal. She may also choose to stay: the right is hers.
If he simply refuses without any illness, he is harming her, which is forbidden (2:231). She should first talk to him and to wise family members, and if nothing changes, take it to a mufti or council. See valid reasons for divorce.
Medical help first. Erectile problems, anxiety, and in women conditions such as vaginismus, are common and often treatable. Seeing a doctor early, together where possible, saves many marriages. Shyness should not stop either of you.
Because the rules on mahr, iddah and the delay depend on the facts, ask a mufti before any step.
Ask a mufti about your own case. This answer explains the general ruling. When the details of your situation matter, as they do here, ask a qualified mufti and give them the full facts. Where to ask a scholar.
The evidence
Quran, Surah Al-Baqara 2:229
ٱلطَّلَٰقُ مَرَّتَانِ ۖ فَإِمْسَاكٌۢ بِمَعْرُوفٍ أَوْ تَسْرِيحٌۢ بِإِحْسَٰنٍۢ ۗ وَلَا يَحِلُّ لَكُمْ أَن تَأْخُذُوا۟ مِمَّآ ءَاتَيْتُمُوهُنَّ شَيْـًٔا إِلَّآ أَن يَخَافَآ أَلَّا يُقِيمَا حُدُودَ ٱللَّهِ ۖ فَإِنْ خِفْتُمْ أَلَّا يُقِيمَا حُدُودَ ٱللَّهِ فَلَا جُنَاحَ عَلَيْهِمَا فِيمَا ٱفْتَدَتْ بِهِۦ ۗ تِلْكَ حُدُودُ ٱللَّهِ فَلَا تَعْتَدُوهَا ۚ وَمَن يَتَعَدَّ حُدُودَ ٱللَّهِ فَأُو۟لَٰٓئِكَ هُمُ ٱلظَّٰلِمُونَ ﴿٢٢٩﴾
Divorce is twice. Then, either keep [her] in an acceptable manner or release [her] with good treatment. And it is not lawful for you to take anything of what you have given them unless both fear that they will not be able to keep [within] the limits of Allah. But if you fear that they will not keep [within] the limits of Allah, then there is no blame upon either of them concerning that by which she ransoms herself. These are the limits of Allah, so do not transgress them. And whoever transgresses the limits of Allah - it is those who are the wrongdoers.
A husband must keep his wife properly or let her go.
Quran, Surah Al-Baqara 2:231
وَإِذَا طَلَّقْتُمُ ٱلنِّسَآءَ فَبَلَغْنَ أَجَلَهُنَّ فَأَمْسِكُوهُنَّ بِمَعْرُوفٍ أَوْ سَرِّحُوهُنَّ بِمَعْرُوفٍۢ ۚ وَلَا تُمْسِكُوهُنَّ ضِرَارًۭا لِّتَعْتَدُوا۟ ۚ وَمَن يَفْعَلْ ذَٰلِكَ فَقَدْ ظَلَمَ نَفْسَهُۥ ۚ وَلَا تَتَّخِذُوٓا۟ ءَايَٰتِ ٱللَّهِ هُزُوًۭا ۚ وَٱذْكُرُوا۟ نِعْمَتَ ٱللَّهِ عَلَيْكُمْ وَمَآ أَنزَلَ عَلَيْكُم مِّنَ ٱلْكِتَٰبِ وَٱلْحِكْمَةِ يَعِظُكُم بِهِۦ ۚ وَٱتَّقُوا۟ ٱللَّهَ وَٱعْلَمُوٓا۟ أَنَّ ٱللَّهَ بِكُلِّ شَىْءٍ عَلِيمٌۭ ﴿٢٣١﴾
And when you divorce women and they have [nearly] fulfilled their term, either retain them according to acceptable terms or release them according to acceptable terms, and do not keep them, intending harm, to transgress [against them]. And whoever does that has certainly wronged himself. And do not take the verses of Allah in jest. And remember the favor of Allah upon you and what has been revealed to you of the Book and wisdom by which He instructs you. And fear Allah and know that Allah is Knowing of all things.
Keeping a wife only to deprive her is forbidden.
Sunan Ibn Majah 2340
Graded sahih... لا ضرر ولا ضرار ...
"There is to be no harm and no returning of harm."
The general principle behind removing harm from a spouse.
Where the ruling is recorded
- al-Hidaya, Kitab al-Talaq, Bab al-'Innin wa Ghayrihi. The one-year delay for an impotent husband and the wife's choice of separation.
- al-Hilah al-Najizah (Ashraf Ali Thanawi), chapters on dissolution of marriage by a Muslim judge. How councils dissolve a marriage for impotence and similar grounds.
- Minhaj al-Talibin (Nawawi), Kitab al-Nikah, on defects that allow annulment. The Shafi'i list of defects for either spouse.
Checked by our team. For a more accurate answer to your own situation, consult a scholar. Quran translation by Sahih International. Hadith Arabic from the standard editions of the six books and the Muwatta, with gradings as recorded there; the English is our own rendering. Spotted a mistake? Tell us.