Short answer
Do not act on suspicion, do not spy, take revenge or spread it. If you are sure, you may forgive if they repent and change, or seek a divorce or khula; the marriage does not end by itself. A formal accusation of zina needs four witnesses, or, for a husband accusing his wife, the li'an oaths before a judge. Get tested for infections, and ask a mufti about your case.
Zina by a spouse does not end the nikah in the Hanafi school, though it is a grave sin. The husband may divorce, and the wife may seek khula or dissolution. A formal accusation without four witnesses is settled only by li'an (mutual oaths) before a qadi, after which they are separated. A man who commits zina with his wife's mother or daughter makes his wife permanently unlawful to him in this school.
Other madhhabs
- Shafi'i
- Zina with a wife's mother or daughter does not make the wife unlawful, since a sin does not forbid what is lawful.
Explanation
Betrayal is one of the most painful things in a marriage, and Islam treats it seriously. It also protects people from false accusation. Allah forbids spying and suspicion (49:12), and a man who accused his wife was told by the Prophet ﷺ: bring proof, or the punishment will fall on your back. For a husband with no witnesses, the Quran gave the li'an: mutual oaths before a judge (24:6 to 9).
Steps to take:
- Be certain. Messages and rumours can mislead. Do not hack phones or follow your spouse.
- Talk. Face it calmly, ideally with a trusted elder, imam or counsellor present.
- Protect your health. Both of you should be tested for infections.
- Decide. If your spouse sincerely repents and ends the relationship, forgiving and rebuilding is allowed and can bring great reward. If trust cannot be restored, divorce or khula is open to you. See khula and valid reasons for divorce.
- Keep it private. Do not publicise it or humiliate them online. Think of the children.
No one may take the law into their own hands. Violence or "honour" revenge is haram. Punishments belong only to a lawful court, and the standard of proof is very high.
If you are the one who cheated, stop at once and make sincere tawbah. See repenting from zina. Because the effects on mahr, children and the nikah depend on the details, speak to a mufti. If you are in danger, call the emergency services.
Ask a mufti about your own case. This answer explains the general ruling. When the details of your situation matter, as they do here, ask a qualified mufti and give them the full facts. Where to ask a scholar.
The evidence
Quran, Surah An-Noor 24:6
وَٱلَّذِينَ يَرْمُونَ أَزْوَٰجَهُمْ وَلَمْ يَكُن لَّهُمْ شُهَدَآءُ إِلَّآ أَنفُسُهُمْ فَشَهَٰدَةُ أَحَدِهِمْ أَرْبَعُ شَهَٰدَٰتٍۭ بِٱللَّهِ ۙ إِنَّهُۥ لَمِنَ ٱلصَّٰدِقِينَ ﴿٦﴾
And those who accuse their wives [of adultery] and have no witnesses except themselves - then the witness of one of them [shall be] four testimonies [swearing] by Allah that indeed, he is of the truthful.
The li'an process for a husband without witnesses.
Quran, Surah Al-Hujuraat 49:12
يَٰٓأَيُّهَا ٱلَّذِينَ ءَامَنُوا۟ ٱجْتَنِبُوا۟ كَثِيرًۭا مِّنَ ٱلظَّنِّ إِنَّ بَعْضَ ٱلظَّنِّ إِثْمٌۭ ۖ وَلَا تَجَسَّسُوا۟ وَلَا يَغْتَب بَّعْضُكُم بَعْضًا ۚ أَيُحِبُّ أَحَدُكُمْ أَن يَأْكُلَ لَحْمَ أَخِيهِ مَيْتًۭا فَكَرِهْتُمُوهُ ۚ وَٱتَّقُوا۟ ٱللَّهَ ۚ إِنَّ ٱللَّهَ تَوَّابٌۭ رَّحِيمٌۭ ﴿١٢﴾
O you who have believed, avoid much [negative] assumption. Indeed, some assumption is sin. And do not spy or backbite each other. Would one of you like to eat the flesh of his brother when dead? You would detest it. And fear Allah; indeed, Allah is Accepting of repentance and Merciful.
Suspicion and spying are forbidden.
Sahih al-Bukhari 2671
Sahih... البينة أو حد في ظهرك ...
"Bring proof, or the prescribed punishment falls on your back."
Accusing a spouse of zina needs proof.
Where the ruling is recorded
- al-Hidaya, Kitab al-Talaq, Bab al-Li'an. Li'an before a qadi and the separation that follows.
- Radd al-Muhtar (Ibn Abidin), Kitab al-Nikah, Fasl fi al-Muharramat, on hurmat al-musaharah. Zina with a wife's mother or daughter makes the wife unlawful to him in the Hanafi school.
- Minhaj al-Talibin (Nawawi), Kitab al-Nikah, on prohibitions by marriage. The Shafi'i view that zina does not create this prohibition.
Checked by our team. For a more accurate answer to your own situation, consult a scholar. Quran translation by Sahih International. Hadith Arabic from the standard editions of the six books and the Muwatta, with gradings as recorded there; the English is our own rendering. Spotted a mistake? Tell us.